


Are you flying now?

by Frechi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hospital, Mean Oikawa :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:20:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24769921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frechi/pseuds/Frechi
Summary: People, I don't tell you that he's dead. But I don't tell you either that he's alive. He could be dead but he could also just changes schools. Maybe his family is moving? Who knows, we only know for certain that he was in the hospital.So what I tell you is that I want you to come to your own conckusions and don't hesitated to write them down in the comments :)





	Are you flying now?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration:  
> https://twitter.com/eliociel/status/1272563341999796224?s=19
> 
> Original artist:  
> https://twitter.com/eliociel?s=09  
> @eliociel
> 
> Inspiration of the original artist:  
> https://twitter.com/yuriko_kaoru?s=09  
> @yuriko_kaoru
> 
> Also thank you Furudate Haruichi for creating this amazing world with all these lovely people.
> 
> Please do not use my content for anything!

The ball felt heavy in his hands. He could bearly stand to touch the soft surface, curved to a sphere. Numbly he let it drop and the ball bounced off a few meters. But he could not pick it up again. The nausea in his throat held him back, making his vision spin with a sudden attack. He staggered on his feet, feet that always seemed so steady even when their repudiation cut deep. Being alone seemed right then because when others don't want you, what else can you do? Isolating himself, he dedicated himself even more to volleyball, the one thing that didn't leave him, that always accepted him and never tried to repell him. Tossing was the best, the almost high feeling when the spiker's hand hit the ball, firing it on the other side, it just was the best feeling. Even after they drew the line, making it impossible for him to toss again, he never lost the joy and happiness he had with it. He just shifted from tossing to others to tossing to himself. It was less fun but he still enjoyed it. Even though he began to think that he just had to practice the sport alone if others rejected him. He honestly began to think he would not need to toss to someone else again, he even began to think that he even didn't |want| to toss to someone else again. That is when he met him again.  
To Hinata Kageyama seemed repressed and stupid, a thickhead. But even if the taller one made that impression, yes, he still was a volleyball obsessed idiot but he never forgot the bright mop of curly hair. And when he, as the first person, hit his toss, when the ball soared through the air, as if in slowmotion he saw him soaring even higher, hitting the toss, |his| toss. He saw his hair flutter, he saw the muscles of his arm cutting the air, he saw gigantic wings spreading widely, one of the outermost feathers wiping his cheek, a touch so soft it seemed like the air.  
Despite his height he seemed so tall, gigantic even.  
The loud impingement of the ball being smashed broke his trance like state. With this one toss it broke the things he told himself. Like a drug the feeling shot up his veins. Excitement. How could he have ever believed that playing volleyball alone was fine? He was a setter, it was his job to toss to others, he |chose| this position because it was the best feeling when his tosses hit the hand of the spiker, slamming the ball down on the other side. But this boy who seemed to not fit the sport at first glance, he made him remember. All the lies fell off of Kageyama and tossing became fun again because every toss was appreciated and loved by the smaller one. For Hinata there was no 'bad toss'. And everytime he hit them, a new dose of this drug was shot into his body. Excitement, adrenaline, the unmistakable and incomparable feeling of the highest high.  
Hight  
That's what it was. He wanted Hinata to fly higher, he wanted him to actually touch the sky, the clouds and the thin air up there. He wanted him to cross his boundaries, to surpass himself, he wanted to see him in the spotlight, he wanted to stand next to him when Hinata would be number one in all Japan and the world. He wanted to be with him on the court longer, he wanted it to last forever.  
How cruel only that humans never were meant to last forever.  
Kneeling on the ground, his hands clawing at his throat to carve the feeling out, to make it all gone, he choked, he gagged on the air that didn't want to pass his neck, panicked gasping for the oxigen he needed. The sun shone brightly down on him, trying to warm him up, his cold body, filled with neves that had grown numb. It didn't warm him up. Instead it let him almost puke, spitting out saliva and gastric acid, comming from his empty stomach. It felt so impossible to live. Because the memories were everywhere. Only the sun was enough to remind him. Because Hinata was just like that.  
The sun  
Bright. Warm. Sparkling. Being bathed in his rays always felt right. But now Kageyama rejected this feeling, the nostalgia, the feeling of him being there without being there. He knew. He knew, he knew that he wasn't there, he |could| not be there. And the knowlegde of it pressed his pipe even more shut. The world around him spun, contorting and twisting into unnatural shapes, blurring with each other. Was he becoming delusional?  
Darkness. He felt as if he had gone blind, the black was everywhere inside him. Worn out he swayed down the road. Hurry, he had to hurry. Before it would be too late. Too late for everything to say, too late for everything to do. He dragged himself to the building, dragged himself to the lift, dragged himself down the corridor, to the door. But then he stopped. Could he bear it? Could he edure it? The sun boy with the world in his hands. Could Kageyama see him? Could he withstand the sight of him?  
His throat got tight, burning with dryness. And while he hesitated, struggling and fighting with himself, the door was opened from the other side. A familiar face appeared in his vision, familiar brown eyes staring at him, a body dressed in more formal clothing. "So you still came, huh," his eyes were familiarly cold towards him, "Tobio-chan"  
When the younger one didn't answer, Oikawa clicked his tongue. He crossed his arms before his chest and leaned against the door frame. "I guess I don't have to tell you that you are too late."  
|Too late|  
It brought Kageyama out of his state of rigidity.  
"If it's too late then what are you doing here?"  
The brunette's brows knitted angered.  
"|I| was here to say my goodbyes and |I| ended up helping his mother with carrying a few things to her car."  
The dark headed averted his eyes.  
"And now tell me, why weren't |you| here."  
But it only made Kageyana's head sink.  
"Why the hell weren't you here, Tobio-chan. Why was everyone here, Karasuno, Nekoma, Fukurodani, Date Tech, |we| were there. Why was everyone there but you."  
Guilt. It burned away the remaining shards of his heart.  
"Why was |I| here when I wouldn't even consider Chibi-chan as a friend. Why weren't you here when you were his partner, huh, Tobio-chan."  
"I just couldn't," it came out of him in a quiet voice.  
"You |couldn't|?" Oikawa asked disbelievingly as if he misheared, almost disgusted by the younger one.  
"Because what. You were hurt? Ooh, poor Tobio-chan," he mocked him. "Are you really that much of a coward?"  
No answer  
"Tch, just as expected. You can never change even with something like that going on. Guess you'll always stay the lonely king, always dictating those around you and never listening. When you rule like this you deserve the solitude."  
Oikawa pushed himself off the door's frame, passing his Kouhai.  
"Pathetic"  
"Then what should I have done instead!" he screamed at his Senpai, turning around.  
"Are you seriously asking me that now?"  
Oikawa faced him again, infuriated.  
"Are you pretending or are you really that retarded?"  
His outburst let Kageyama twitch.  
"I can't believe it, you prick!" The words hailed down on him.  
"When someone is taken to the hospital under such circumstances and in such a condition, |you| are unimportant. Important is the person lying in the bed. Because they are scared, they are |terrified|. Because it's |them| who are in that bed. And they need their family and friends because |they| are in unbearable pain. You observe from the outside but |they| don't know what is happening to |their| body. They can't just leave the room when it gets too much!"  
"This is a hospital. Patients are trying to recover so you either lower your voices or leave!" A nurse from the next room yelled at them, Oikawa quickly apologizing, turning back to his Kouhai with scorn in his eyes.  
"He didn't need his mother or his sister. He didn't need your team or me or any of the others that were here. He needed you. Because you were his partner, damnit, the way you looked and interacted with each other you are damn more than that. Do you even know how hard you let him down when you didn't show up? He trusted you more than anyone. He was frightened and that sight will never leave my head again. He laid horrified in this bed. Now look at the bed." He pushed Kageyama towards the room.  
"Look at it! Look who's not here when you finally are!"  
Empty  
"You deserve all of the solitude if even he meant that little to you."  
The steps grew distant.  
He stared at the room, entering slowly.  
When he thought he couldn't bear the sight of Hinata, restricted to the bed, his mesmerizing wings bound back, the sight of him who was meant to soar higher than anyone else, being unable to fly, he didn't know how crushing the pain was when he saw this empty and deserted room, cleaned up for the next patient.  
He stepped to the bed. The ashes of the burned shards of his heart sunk down with an unbearable weight. The grievance and sadness that were tearing at him couldn't even stay.  
In this clean room that was screaming chaos at him, Kageyama shed a tear.  
It all stuck to him, catching him and trapping him.  
Like a picture....he felt stuck in a frame, captured. The light shone though the window, illuminating him standing next to the bed. But the clock on the wall to his right wasn't ticking. The light was not dying down. The world was not moving forwards, time stood still, it was stuck. Standing there in a loop, not knowing how long it had been, only one thing was on his mind.  
Are you flying now, Hinata?  
It was cruel. When the forever he had wished for became a truth.


End file.
